Who cares if you have green grass, yellow grass, or brown grass

I try not to let other people’s lives get to me, whether it’s worrying about their business or being jealous of something they have. Most of the time I do really well at that, but I have to continually focus on doing this. I am human, so sometimes I fail miserably. In my happiness effort, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on myself. Frankly, I haven’t had a lot of time to worry about other people or be jealous of something they have.

I was talking with someone who I perceived to have “it all.” I left the conversation realizing again that I shouldn’t think the grass is always greener. I shouldn’t assume anything about anyone. And most of all, I shouldn’t think negative or jealous thoughts about anyone. Every situation is different. When my husband lusts after a new car that drives down the street, I gently remind him that we own our cars. No need to be jealous of someone else’s situation, when we don’t know what exactly that situation is. Be happy with our financial situation and be happy that we don’t have to worry about our cars, we just need to use them.

During this conversation with this friend, I was taken back by what was said. Surprised that what I perceived to be was exactly the opposite. Disappointed in myself that I’ve felt pangs of jealousy against a situation that I had made up in my head. In reality, I was wrong. I’m not sure how wrong, because it’s not my business. Nonetheless, I shouldn’t be jealous about the happiness that other’s share. Not many of us, me included, share the bad stuff about our life. We don’t tell the world when money is tight or when marriage is stressful. Most people don’t talk about being depressed or feeling lonely. We hide behind the happiness and present smiles to the world. I don’t discredit anyone for acting this way, it’s human nature. Just as jealousy is human nature.

I’m taking another stand in my happiness project. Not only will I give people the benefit of the doubt, but I’ll like them for the real people they are. I won’t become jealous of their happiness, I will celebrate with them instead. I will focus on building and continuing healthy relationships, not looking from the sidelines and wishing I had something that they have. I will be happy and confident with my life and in turn be happy for others.

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A list-making bender … or something like that.

I started writing about happiness here and here. It’s one of the major things going on in my life right now. It’s everywhere I turn, at home and work. And it’s there because I’ve put it there! I’ve always hated the mundane routine of life and work. I didn’t think there was anything I could do about so I got used to the highs and lows. I’ve finally found something that works for me!

I’ve talked about how happy lists make me feel and I’ve been on list-making benders but they’ve never stuck. I saw the benefit and they made me feel good, but there was something missing. Until now. I start every workday by prioritizing my day. I make my hours work for me. I make realistic days based on priorities and things that must get done. {Not to be confused with should be done. That’s a different list.}

Here’s the downfall to my lists…drop-bys. A person who stops in your office to chat. Sometimes it’s a social stop and other times it’s a work-related stop. {I’m fortunate and don’t get too many social stops.} While I enjoy the personal interaction, it ruins my list and can put me very off track! I really have to work overtime and quickly in order to make up for that time, which could be bypassed if I consistently gave myself the breaks I know I’ll need. {I’m pregnant and we don’t have a working bathroom nearby. Allow time.} Sometimes I over- or under-estimate time required for tasks so I can go longer on one and shorter on the other and still keep on track. Other times I have to make sacrifices and decide if I need to keep focusing on the task. This usually means the should do item waits another day.

With my nighttime routine, I’m creating the same routines every night. I have nightly chores like picking up the living room, but then I’ve got a list of things I want to do throughout the week. One night it might be to organize the kitchen junk drawers and the next night it might be to launder the towels. The intent is to be deliberate throughout the week and eliminate the amount of housework I do on the weekends. I’ve always struggled with doing these things during the week because I didn’t want to take away from family time. In my old ways I sat down as soon as Maximus went to bed. Now I keep going. If I move from task to task, I don’t feel tired until 9. Then I’m usually physical exhausted and need to sit down and relax.

I’m enjoying my newfound ways at home and work. I leave work feeling accomplished and love being able to throw away my list at the end of the day. I’ve found it’s a great way to get rid of those nagging tasks that I just don’t want to do. I’d rather cross that item off than continue to ignore it in my follow-up folder. I’m going to bed each night feeling exhausted in a good way. I don’t lay awake in bed for more than 15 minutes and I have a peaceful feeling about myself when I put my head on my pillow.

How do you make sure you’re living the happiest life you can? What resources help you? 

Happy me, happy them, happy us

I’ve been busy. It’s a poor excuse for teasing you with blog posts and then just as abruptly stopping again.

Here’s the thing, I’m working on life balance. And life happiness. I’m working on less time with electronics and more time doing other things. I’m turning the tv off, putting my phone on the counter, and doing things for me. Well, most of the time they benefit my family but it’s all wrapped up in the same. What I’ve learned is happy mom, happy family, happy life. It’s inner-laced.

I’m spending at least 30 minutes exercising or doing yoga each night. I’m picking up the house in under 30 minutes and focusing on the items that take me less than one minute to complete. I’m doing small loads of laundry throughout the week. I’m spending at least 30 minutes a day reading. And I’m making sure I get 8-9 hours of sleep at least 5 days a week. And those things basically mean that I start when Maximus goes to bed and once I’m done with them, I go to bed.

I miss the Internet and my online friends, but I need to get myself into a happy, healthy routine. Most of these things already feel like second nature to me. I hope that once I do them automatically, then I’ll become more efficient and will be able to squeeze more things in. After all, writing brings me happiness too. But so does sleep, so I’m having a hard time justifying early mornings or late nights spent writing. Even if my husband keeps giving me gentle reminders that I could get an hour of writing in each morning if I got up at 5:30. That suggestion basically ranks as lowest on my list of life at this point.

Also, I’m still working on this next baby. We find out TODAY whether Baby Leger version 2.0 is a boy or a girl! With my lack of Interneting I’ve been bad about baby updates. Welcome to #2 kid, you’ll love it or hate it! I’m doing well and growing every day practically. We’re very excited to find out what the sex is and start some solid planning! Once that starts happening Maximus will surely realize something is up at our house. (And Wrigley will definitely ask to go live somewhere else, until he remembers that another baby means another toddler to throw him food.) Until then, Maximus is adjusting to people touching my stomach and wonders why everyone keeps doing it. He’s got a good block move though, climb up and sit on the tummy. No one can touch it then! Earlier this week he could have felt the baby moving but his diaper was probably absorbing it. Soon enough he’s going to know what this little sibling really thinks of him banging on it’s safe shelter.

Stayed tuned for the big gender reveal! I’m not sure what Maximus has up his sleeve yet, but I’m sure it’ll be good! 😉