My thoughts on the birth of this baby: VBAC and C-section

At our 12-week appointment, my doctor explained that our hospital isn’t a VBAC-approved hospital because it isn’t large enough. However, if you deliver during business hours they have enough staff because the practice is right next door. I’m paraphrasing a little here, but I did repeat it back to her as that. “Basically, if I deliver Monday through Friday, from 8-5, then I have the chance to do a VBAC?” Yes. Ok, so there’s little to no planning for this birth. Check. Ironically, this conversation made me feel better. One of my first emotions was fear. I couldn’t imagine knowing I was going to be scheduled for surgery. Obviously I’ve already experienced one, but I had 2-minutes to think about it. When in the throes of major contractions, there are plenty of things to keep your mind off of the specifics. Specifically the part where the doctor said, “don’t push!” Maybe if I’d only had that one c-section I wouldn’t be so nervous. With a recent foot surgery, going into an OR is very real in my mind. I can still feel the anxiety and emotion that I felt that morning when I was waiting to go in. I left that appointment feeling really good about the birth. It may be completely out of my control, but I felt really well about the possibility of a VBAC.

At my 2o-week ultrasound our due date was estimated to be off by 8 days. We talked with my OB about changing the date and decided not to push it up a week. If I remember correctly, our ultrasound with Maximus showed the date being off by 7 days. So, we’re keeping the December 27 due date, even though the ultrasound suggests it’s more likely to be December 19. Due dates seem to be much of a guessing game anyway, that no one seem worried about it.

Unfortunately, after we decided not to change the date she told me she probably wouldn’t let me go past December 20 {39 weeks}. She didn’t type anything into the computer so I didn’t push the topic. I just absorbed what she said and tried to not feel disappointed. Wouldn’t you know, the next appointment she mentioned it again. 🙁 So, it looks like we didn’t change the due date but she’s not into the idea of letting me go past 39 weeks. I’m trying not to dwell on it because her and I both think that I’ll go early anyway. But, now I’ve got this giant target and I hate having something weigh me down. With Maximus, I told myself I would go 42 weeks. I didn’t want my due date to come and be devastated that he wasn’t here yet. I was prepared for him to arrive, but didn’t want to put an enormous amount of hope into it happening on a certain day. I didn’t want to screw up my mental game, if you will. I’m a little concerned this unexpected news will screw up my plan. Then again, I didn’t really have much of a plan to begin with. I guess we’ll all find out in December!

Come December, send me some healthy birthing vibes! I’m looking for a text-book delivery that falls between normal business hours and with a little boy who is ready to exit the right way. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for! 😉

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