The balance between selfish and necessary

I’ve always been a middle of the road type of girl. Not too girly and not too sporty. I’d probably describe myself as average. I’m not afraid to go out in public without make-up, but when I do wear it it’s not a lot. I never spent a lot on hair cuts and only highlighted my hair a few times a year. Nothing too drastic and pretty routine. My toes are usually painted, but nails aren’t manicured. I try to remember to wear jewelry but go through phases of the same items. I don’t buy the latest fashion trends and try to make do with what I have.

Over a year ago, I switched hair dressers. I started going to someone younger and more in tune with the latest trends. My hair got a much-needed change and I’ve loved it ever since. She’s gotten me to highlight it with funky reds and pushes me to continually change it. I find myself looking forward to hair cuts. I’ve always enjoyed the relaxation part, but I find that I’m jealous of other people when they have an appointment. I find myself longing for that hour. It’s not like I sit there and let my mind wander, she talks a lot. I basically spend the hour thinking and talking, which is the opposite of relaxing. Yet, it’s something that I look forward to so much.

I don’t think I’m pampering myself enough. If I’m building up a hair cut to be so special, I think I’m overworked, overmommied, and underpampered. I need to get out more and really enjoy things. I got a massage a couple of months ago and it felt wonderful. I left thinking that I should do it often. Then each new month comes along and I don’t want to put aside money for pampering. I forgo me time so I can buy birthday gifts or put more money into our savings goals. {I’ve found the downfall of budgeting, we’ve created a really tight financial environment.} I know happiness is about balance. A healthy balance between work, home, friendships, and everything in between. What is it about women that makes us put all of our own needs and desires aside for everyone else? {Asks the woman about to have a baby and spend all of her waking and sleeping hours feeding that child.}

A few weeks ago, I decided to read a book. I hadn’t read a fiction book since April. One of my favorite hobbies is reading. Or it used to be. I’ve put it on the sidelines because I didn’t want to spend money buying books and I didn’t feel like I had the time to relax. I read this book in a weekend. I read at night while Bryan was gone and I read during nap time. I even finished the book while Bryan was making supper and Maximus watched. It was awesome. I felt so refreshed and happy. As much as I wanted to go out and buy another book, I didn’t.

While I don’t feel like I’m struggling to find happiness, I know that I’m not taking care of myself that way I should and could. I don’t take time for myself. I find myself longing for a movie, a pedicure, a massage, DVR tv shows, or a hair cut. I know it’s good to have things to look forward to and I don’t want to take things for granted, but I need to find a balance.

What do you do to take care of yourself? How do you pamper yourself? 

1 thought on “The balance between selfish and necessary

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