Maternity Monday: Peace

The rules of babies are to not get too cocky. Don’t flaunt sleeping through the night or an easy potty training. If the universe thinks you’re overly confident, it’ll throw a major curveball and undo the awesomeness. Without trying to do that, I want to say that I’m enjoying the phase we’re in. I absolutely love this two-year old who lives in my house. With each day I wonder how I can possibly love that little munchkin any more. Then he does something absolutely hilarious or compassionate and I die a million deaths. I find myself just watching him. Watching him take life in. Watching him think. Watching him do something. I love it. He’s amazing and this age rocks! I thought I was a baby stage lover and then two hit and I know I’m just a Maximus lover. 🙂

Needless to say, toddlerhood is working out well for us. Maximus picks things up quickly and has become a well-mannered little boy. He’s pretty consistent in his attitudes and routines. At this point, we feel like he’s pretty predictable. When he acts out, it’s easy to pinpoint what the problem is. When he’s fussy and unhappy, we know right away that he’s teething. When he sleeps too much we know he’s not feeling well. He doesn’t throw anything at us that we haven’t seen before so we know how to handle him. We’re in a comfortable spot. If we weren’t expecting, I might suggest that we’d be too comfortable to change the dynamic. I can see how it would be easy to keep doing this and not try to “screw it up.”

Because we are expecting, this toddler thing just makes me feel better. I have a huge sense of peace about our family dynamic changing in December. It hasn’t always been that way. In the beginning I often wondered how he’d react and how much our life would change. I wondered how the chaos was going to feel normal. That’s changed. I can’t put my finger on what exactly changed, I don’t think it’s all the toddler but maybe it is. I’m really excited about the next phase. I feel good about a baby and a toddler. It’s a feeling of life going in the right direction. As hectic as my days and weeks have been, I have a good feeling about the new family dynamic we’re about to embrace.

I hear a lot of first time moms talk about mommy guilt when they are about to have their second child. There’s still plenty of time for that, but right now I don’t feel it. I am grateful for 2 1/2 years of undivided devotion to Maximus. I’m glad we’ve been able to make him the center of our life. {I do have a little guilt / hope that LBL 2.0 will get the same attention.} I feel like we did this right, even if we didn’t plan it out. 🙂 He’s at the age where he is going to flourish with a little brother. By the time LBL 2.0 will be active, Maximus will be ready to play with him! Before that, I know Maximus is going to be a big help. I know he’ll be loving and gentle. I’m not naive, I expect some jealousy and won’t be surprised if he acts out. But, I think in the end he’s going to be just fine. Feeling like he’s going to adjust well really makes this pregnancy more enjoyable. There’s less unknown than when we were pregnant for the first time. There’s a lot of calm and excitement for what we know is to come.

Maybe it’s the second trimester energy and emotion speaking. {Heh, for all of one more week.} Either way, I like this feeling. I like feeling a sense of peace in the chaos of this time. It’s ironic that this calming feeling comes after a week of feeling overwhelmed. I may still have a lot on my to do list and even more on my wish list, but I’m enjoying this sense of right.

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