Holding on and letting go of those baby snuggles

It’s not too often anymore that I get to fully experience baby snuggles. When I do, there’s nothing else in the world that matters. (Until Wrigley barks at Bryan and Maximus coming home and the snuggling abruptly comes to an end because Quinten is awake. #FreeDogtoGoodHome) I wish I could say that I’ll never forget the way he sleeps, but I know that’s not true. Eventually, these pictures will be replaced with new ones. Instead of a sleeping baby, I’ll see a toddler sitting at the table trying really, really hard to remember not to put his greasy hands all over our new furniture. The soft fluttering of his eyelids and the small part to his lips will be replaced with legs that go on for days and a blanket held tight between his three-year-old hands. The way he nuzzles his face into my neck and drapes his arms around me, well, that’ll be the same because every boy needs mommy snuggles. And every mommy needs boy snuggles, regardless of how old they are.

His soft, chubby cheeks will be replaced with smooth ones. I won’t kiss them any less, but eventually he’ll want kissies and hugies and then we won’t. His fat feet will eventually fit into shoes and we’ll spend mornings deciding between shoes or sandals. Eventually we won’t rush over to him every time he stands up. Soon it’ll be second nature and he’ll be walking. We won’t drop everything we’re doing to make sure he doesn’t fall off a chair, we’ll simply remind him to be careful. And one day we’ll be able to ask him to go wash his hands instead of playing a quick game of please-don’t-eat-the-napking-while-I-wash-you-off.

I know all of this will happen because all of it did happen with Maximus. Some day I’ll turn to Bryan and say, “remember how Quinten used to try to eat everything in sight, including the handle on the end table?” In the not too distant future that will all be a memory. A beautiful, heart-filling memory. I won’t ever wish the time to move forward, but I might try to hold on to the past a little longer. These days sure do feel long, but the weeks are way too short. I don’t miss too many bedtimes, because I get to snuggle with both of my boys. I get to watch Quinten fall asleep every night and I get to hug and rock with Maximus while he pleads for me to hold him just a little longer. Most nights I do, because this time is short. Soon enough he won’t want me to hold him before bed or help him get dressed or go with him to the potty. Soon enough he’ll be “bigger Maximus” and Quinten will be in the throes of independence.

Parenthood is such an awesome ride, I hope I continue to remember this and truly enjoy the journey.

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