A needed break from the chaos

I’ve recently realized that it’s hard to get back into life when life is so chaotic. I was traveling 11 days during January. In writing, it doesn’t feel as heavy as life felt while traveling. That’s probably because my first trip was seven days. That’s a long time to be away from your family, on a work trip, right after a three-week holiday break. A seven-day vacation is a long time to be away from your family, but it doesn’t involve endless work. I switched time zones and had to be “on” starting at 7 am {6 my time}. I did a solid six hours and then took a one to two hour break to workout and just sit on my hotel bed. Then back at it for another eight {plus} hours. LONG DAYS. It seems a little first world -ish to complain, but work travel isn’t a break from life. It’s more work than the typical day because you don’t get to turn work off and you get less sleep than at home. Not to mention that the emails don’t stop while you’re traveling.

Sometimes it overwhelms me to go on long trips because I have to prepare for the trip itself for work and home, then go on the trip, come back and wrap up the trip, and then catch back up from the trip at work and home. It’s exhausting to do all the laundry and cleaning before a trip and come home and have to do it again. I forget that home life continues while I’m gone. I’ve found it hard to jump right back in where I left off. And let’s be honest, I don’t always leave the house and family all nice and organized. Sometimes we’re too busy for any prep and I just leave.

I’m happy to not have anything on the calendar until March. I’m looking forward to getting back into a healthy balance of work and life. Excited to get back into my morning workout routine and even more excited to get back on my clean eating meal plan. We started off the weekend by taking the boys to a children’s museum and it was the perfect way to get back into family life! After a couple of weeks of no fun, we all needed a good activity that could entertain and wear everyone out. I might even find some personal time to write now that I’ll be home for a while…

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Flying planes and making music.

 

 

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Is busy really better?

I seem to be having the same conversation over-and-over again. In my own head I’ve been whining and complaining because I’m so busy. It turns out that I’m not the only one experiencing this. I thought I needed to do something to change my track and find more happiness. After talking with a couple of people it seems that maybe society is causing this new trend. That doesn’t mean I come up with any answers, but I find it oddly reassuring that I’m not in it alone. This constant battle of not getting things done, of always being behind, of being exhausted.

When I’m at work I think about all the things that need to be done at home…meals, cleaning, laundry, and activities with the boys. When I’m at home I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to do anything. I think about all the things I want to do…creative design, writing, and projects / gifts for friends. Before I go to bed or when I wake up, I think about the things I need to do at work but then when I get there I get pulled in various directions that prevent me from getting them done. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps me feeling behind and if I’m being honest, unhappy.

I’ve tried different approaches. Some times I spend my evenings doing the things that make me happy and other times I’m a blob on the couch and do nothing. Depending on the day, sometimes the active night makes me happy and other times the lazy evening does. Although something may make me happy during the time, it doesn’t prevent me from feeling guilty later. If I don’t do anything, I feel guilty that my house is a mess or that I didn’t get any more work done on a creative project. If I stay up late working on something, I don’t feel like I’m taking good care of myself and promise that I’ll get more sleep the next night.

My night-time hours feel so precious and short that it’s hard to figure out the best way to use them. I suppose I’m in a phase of life that prevents me from being 100% happy with all of my decisions. I’m being pulled in so many different directions and feel like I’m at a cross-roads of trying to figure out what my life should be. I surely don’t have any answers so I’m doing the best I can to stay afloat. Some days that’s really easy and other days I wonder when the ride will stop!

How do you deal with the hectic life? Do you get guilt over your decisions?