Toddler Conversations: September Edition

Here are some funny conversations I’ve had with Maximus lately.

M: Mommy, I want to go home. I’m tired.
Me: I’m tired too. I might close my eyes for a while.
M: Why?
Me: Because I’m tired.
M: Then go for it.

 

Me: Why don’t you use that baby bandaid?
M: Why?
Me: Because you have a small owie.
M: I don’t need a baby bandaid because I don’t have a baby foot.
Me: No, it’s not for a baby it’s for when you need a small bandaid.
Me: No it’s not.
(So I put an adult sized bandaid on his big toe and then he walked through the house stiff legged.)

 

M: Hey mom, can you build with me?
Me: Maximus, is that my name?
M: Yes.
Me: I kind of like it better when you call me mommy.
M: Well I’m bigger now so I call you mom and dad.
Me: Ok, but it still kind of makes me sad.
M: Why?
Me: Because I like when you call me mommy.
M: Ok mom.

 

M: Hey mom, do you have any money?
Me: No. I don’t have any money.
M: Well can you go to that money machine and get some?
Me: Can I go to the money machine and get money? No I can’t.
M: Yes you can. Just turn there and go to the money machine.
Me: We don’t have time.
M: Yesss you do. Go get some.

 

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Conversations with a toddler

Maximus: Me want more honey.
Bryan: You want more honey, huh? You’re going to have to get a bee hive.
Maximus: A bee hive?
Bryan: Yes, you need a bee hive.
Maximus: Get a bee hive at the store.

……

Wrigley burped after he finished eating.
Maximus: Scuse you Wriggy. Scuse you.

……

Out of nowhere:
Maximus: Daddy, want some hot chocolate?
Bryan: What?
Maximus: Want some hot chocolate?
Me: Do you want some hot chocolate?
Bryan: How does he know what hot chocolate is?
Me: I have no idea. When did he start pretending?

Next day:
Maximus: Want some hot chocolate, mommy?
Me: Yes.
Maximus: {Puts an egg beater in my face} More?
Me: Yes.
Maximus: More?
Me: Yes.
Maximus: Full?
Me: Yes, I’m full.
Maximus: K

……

Me: Maximus, let’s go get big boy clothes on.
Maximus: Get big boy clothes on and go papa’s house!
Me: No, we’re not going anywhere but you need to get big boy clothes on.
Maximus: Big boy clothes and go home?
Me: We are home. This is our home.
Maximus: Nooo. Go hoooome. See papa.
*Somewhere along the last month he got confused about where home is. Because my parent’s leave our house to go home.

……

After waking from a nap, I walked into his room wearing a tank top.

Maximus: mommy! Put a shirt on!
Me: I need to put a shirt on?
Maximus: Yesss

……

Maximus: Me feed baby Kintin.
Me: You’re going to feed baby Quinten?
Maximus: Yess, from my belly.

…….

While holding an iPod up to his ears.
Maximus: Hello. Hi, music player.