The post where I come back to the Internet…kind of…

Have you ever experienced a mind-boggling, earth-shattering thing? Throughout my life, I’ve experienced a few of those. Issues with friends, drama with family, etc. Well, I just went through one of those experiences that made me feel like I was trying to walk on water. Every step I took was wobbly and I wasn’t sure how far I was going to make it. Here’s something you might not know about me, I didn’t show it. I’m one of those people who keep it bottled up. My stance on life is that other people don’t need to deal with my issues. They don’t need to hear me complain about my life and how “bad” it is. So, I keep it to myself and trudge through.

I’m going to call myself a “hobby” blogger. What I mean is that I choose what aspects of my life come to the Internet. I choose to be cryptic and vague about my life-rocking experiences. I choose to tell you that I’m doing better. Every day is different and none can be predicted. I’m going to have my ups and downs, but that’s how life is. I’ll get through this and past this and the world will keep going. I choose to not give my whole self to the Internet. Especially at this time, when it’s all so HERE. I even choose not to share this experience with many close friends. Lately, I’ve learned that time makes the biggest problems seem more manageable. I can handle a little bit of breathing room before I decide if I need to talk my problems outs. Again, I’ve realized that I don’t need to bring others down with my sad stories.

I sit here on my deck in a t-shirt, jeans, and TENNIS SHOES on a sunny afternoon in the middle of March. I listen to the birds chirping and shush my dog so the walkers can enjoy their peaceful stroll around the pond. I don’t have it all together, in fact a few hours ago I had none of it together. A good conversation with my husband and some vitamin D are helping my perspective immensely.

I’m still “around” the Internet, slowly catching up on my Google Reader, checking in on Twitter at least once a day, and forgetting about my Words With Friends games for days. I’m not accomplishing great things in my non-Internet life, but I’m making it through. I’ll come back. I promise. It just might take me a while to get through this cloudy mess in front of me. I can’t ever promise that I’ll ever tell you what the cryptic tweets and blog posts are about, but every little sentence helps me in a tiny way.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about writing. It was the reason I wanted to start a blog, but it feels like creative writing is the only thing I haven’t touched on. I don’t know that anything will change; the Internet can be a scary, mean world of people hiding behind computer screens. Maybe I’ll try my hand at something related to the seven weeks I spent on bed rest with a broken foot. 🙂

I have so many lofty goals for this life. How do you distinguish between the lofty and the attainable? Take more pictures, write more consistently, read more books, take better care of the house, decorate the house, do some kind of landscaping, make more homemade food, stop eating processed food, go to bed earlier, get more involved in the community, get in shape. This list is endless. How do I do it all or do enough to be happy with my accomplishments?

4 thoughts on “The post where I come back to the Internet…kind of…

  1. I think you just have to try and knock things out – even if they don’t reach the high and lofty standards we set for ourselves, you gotta give it whirl anyway. And then slowly, it comes together and you look around and think, “Hey, this is pretty sweet.”

    1. Like, don’t let the world overwhelm you. If you take it one step at a time it’s a lot more manageable. I do know this. I just forget it! 🙂

  2. Amanda Speese

    I hope your okay! Cryptic blog posts make me worry for my Kyley but you know that I am here if you need anything. Trust me, I know that life isn’t perfect so I am okay with a bit of sadness and downers from time to time!

    1. Thanks! I’m ok. I’ll be ok. I always am. 🙂 Some day are just harder than others!

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