Switching up the normal

We’re adjusting to our new normal. I’m back to work and we’re all trying to get into a groove. On the one hand, we’ve done this before. On the other hand, it was getting difficult with only one little guy to take care of. Maximus isn’t always the easiest toddler to get out the door in the morning. It was enough of a deal that I usually started my day feeling bad about everything. I let myself go to a very dark place and I felt guilty for everything. I felt guilty that I was losing my patience {hello, 9 months pregnant}, I felt guilty that he was going to daycare to begin with, I felt guilty that I was waking him up in the morning instead of waiting for his natural wake up, and I felt guilty about constantly being late to work because of him. Dump all that on a pregnant woman every day and you’ve got a recipe for disaster!

Maximus didn’t change completely when I was on maternity leave. He still had tantrums, just about other things. Like not being able to watch Mickey Mouse or wanting to be held or not wanting his diaper changed or not wanting to take a nap or a cracker breaking. You know, normal two-year-old stuff. He lacked a solid routine to keep him busy all day. He lacked stimulating activities to keep him occupied. But, he got all the mommy love he could get. Except he didn’t always want to share the mommy. So, that was hard for the little two-year-old.

Basically what I’m saying is, there are always good days and bad days. Some of the good are better than the rest and some of the bad are worse than the rest. It’s about perspective. And patience. Some days I have a lot of both and other days I have little of either. After a week of our new routine, we were split down the middle. Half the week was sunshine and toddler laughs in the morning. The other half was toddler cries and diaper changing refusals. {Yes, a week can be split in half. Wednesday morning started out well and ended badly.}

I went into it with no expectations and some worry. The good thing about not having expectations was being surprised by my Bryan offering to do the first day together. It worked so well that we decided to stick with it. Our old routine was Bryan into work early and out early. I was in on-time / late and out late. Instead, we’re attempting to go in on time, take a short lunch, and leave in time to pick up the boys before they’ve surpassed their nine hour limit at daycare. This seems to be working. It’s a little dicey some days with the weather and/or all the weather gear. {It also helps if I remember all of my things before we leave the house.} I do enjoy getting off work early as opposed to extra late. I’m able to fit in one more nursing session with Quinten and of course there’s an additional hour spent with the boys compared to my old routine. I think we’ll stick with this for a while and enjoy the extra family time. There’s something about riding to work with your husband that makes you feel like you aren’t going to … work.